No Baby Yet
So she's still not here yet. It's ok really because this was a holiday weekend and it would have been crazy, but my sister is so ready for her to come out and now she's officially 1 day late.I'm happy because that's actually consistent with my family - to be late - so maybe this baby will look like my sister!All else is going well here. The weekend was Fan-FUCKING-tastic - details will follow as the week wears on; time permitting... For now just know that I think I may have been denying myself some fun in the past not dating Fraternity boys!
Almost here...
It's too exciting! The BABY - my new niece - is almost here! Can you stand it? Because honestly I almost can't. She is due Monday so last night my sister and BIL came to stay at my parents to be on the right side of the bridge. Partly because her Braxton-Hicks contractions (a.k.a. false labor contractions) were only 6 minutes apart. That didn't happen with the last baby. And partly because that's when all of the idiots would be coming home from the beach causing an insane back up to come over to the west side...Anyway, so that's all for now. I just wanted to share the news and excitement! Of course, with all this preparation the baby may just wait a few weeks to make her entrance - be fashionably late and all...
Happiness is...
A NEW HAIR CUT!!!(more to come later, I'm sure, but that's all for now - I am still sick and trying to be better for the weekend... hope you all ave fun... and RESPOND to storytimewithmyass.com)
Silver Lining
I am officially sick. I have been to the doctors (with a stupid $15 co-pay I might add) and I have a "get out of jail free" note. It makes me feel so juvenile I hate it, but whatever because I have it. I am legally able to be out of work 2-3 days "depending on fever". Well guess what, fever or no I am so not going in on Friday. It's the Navy graduation, plus Friday before a long weekend - do you think I'm that crazy that I would sit in that sort of traffic when I'm healthy? Let alone recovering from a cold? I don't think so. I had originally planned to take a half day to beat most of the traffic. Now it's a whole day and that really is so much better.I am banned from speaking except in extreme need and I am taking Motrin to control the fever and pain. To be honest, when I woke up this morning the only thing that hurt was my throat. My head is fine. No more throbbing when I stand up or sit down and that is very good. I also didn't have a fever. I am hoping to be mostly better by Saturday because I have plans... but that is something to discuss at another time. Just know yes, he is young and yes, he is the boy from the fraternity. It's going to be fun, ok?I am also planning to GET MY HAIR CUT. How long have I been saying that? I don't know but I'm totally serious. It's getting annoying.So yesterday my Mom took me to the doctor (I was concerned about driving because my head hurt THAT BAD). After we went shopping and out for lunch. Don't you know that shopping makes everything better? It's a well known fact in my family and we went with it. I picked up 2 shirts from Old Navy for $4.14. The beauty of the bargain is what made the fever go away. I also picked up some Bath & Body Works soap & lotion (you can never have too many and they make great gifts).We got home and I took a long nap, then after dinner I went home to watch Idol. I don't know what my reaction is to the decision. I have so many opinions about this season it's probably not worth getting into. All I'll say is that I still think Nadia shouldn't have been cut as early as she was... if at all...
Sick :-(
Recently I decided that my body is getting out of control. I was eating like crap and not exercising. Refereeing doesn't really help to keep you in shape - it does is keep you off the couch for a little while which helps - but it's not the same. I committed myself to a minimum of 30 min cardio per day (walking, running, biking, rowing, etc) plus I am only eating things that are as close to their natural state as possible; good bye processed food. It can be grilled, baked, broiled or steamed. Oh, and only 1 can of soda a day.Started this all Monday and felt good.Woke up Tuesday and my throat hurt, glands were swollen, my entire body ached and I had the most raging headache you can imagine. I blamed the throat on sleeping with the fan on and the aches on finally getting my butt back to the gym. The headache was of course in reaction to the lack of caffeine... or so I thought.I went to work and did my best to get through the day. I had chills off and on all afternoon and even after my soda the headache wasn't going away. Luckily I had gotten in at 7 so when 330 finally rolled around I was out of there.Went to my Mom's and she thought I felt warm and guess what? I was. 101 to be exact. I am going to the doctor today around lunch for some tests...The only silver lining I can see in this situation is that it's only Wednesday which means that there is still a good chance that I will be "all better" for this lovely holiday weekend...
a few song lines that are good
(do you know where they're from???)Can't you see that it's just raining; ain't no need to go outsideBut lord knows that this world is cruel; and I ain't the lord no I'm just a fool; learning loving somebody don't make them love you (I could go on because I love this song - and artist - but I don't feel like typing it all in)I'm gonna f* it up again; I'm gonna do it on purpose (such a great song - completely identify)spin on a whim, slide to the right; I felt you like electric lightjust when you think she's yours, she's flown to other shores (or something like that)there is freedom within, there is freedom without; trying to catch the deluge in a paper cupThat's all for now because I am at work and really should do that rather than think of song lyrics but these ideas are why I love these songs sooooo much I just had to share... probably will be more to come later, too!
Boring
That's me of late. So sorry about that. I did a lacrosse game Monday and Wednesday and I have, on slate at least, 4 tomorrow. The first 3 are just rec league games (yay $90 cash!) and the last is a state semi-final (because you know I am just sooo special). Then 2 rec games (again, yay $60 cash!) on Sunday.That's it. Sooo dull.Maybe going out Saturday after my game, not sure to do what though. Tonight is the NCAA's at the Academy (I believe) and if it's not bad I'm going to go and stir a little trouble - that's always fun.I'm going to blame the weather. Hope y'all are doing well.
What is the world coming to?
I went out with a "frat boy" last night. Yes, you can blame me if hell freezes over and there is a blizzard that dumps 10' of snow in the middle of summer.The important thing is that I HAD FUN. That's all for now. I just wanted to warn you in case you started seeing any signs of the apocalypse... carry on.
Vanity
Can you even stand the vanity of me? "It is the sin to which the great and gifted are most susceptible"As if I were so great or gifted to be susceptible to something so definable... it's laughable. I need to quit with the self diagnosis and seek professional help... the question is, who is a professional in the type of help that I need???(And do you know what? It's the expression of exactly these sort of thoughts that I believe may run most people away and out of my life... as if I would hold them to the same sort of scrupulous judgement that I hold myself...)
Hubris
As defined, at least in part, by the Encyclopedia Britannica (online of course)...
"Also spelled hybris, in classical Greek ethical and religious thought, overweening presumption suggesting impious disregard of the limits governing human action in an orderly universe. It is the sin to which the great and gifted are most susceptible, and in Greek tragedy it is usually the hero's tragic flaw…"I learned of this word and concept in my Shakespeare class in college. My teacher - he was not a professor - but one of the more favored grad students who was given his own class - was obsessed with it. We spent the entire semester studying his tragedies, which are all very good, and analyzing what we felt was the main character's hubris. It was fascinating. Somewhat depressing as well, but that's sort of the point of a tragedy, right?Now I know that there is a contingency who argue that Will did not write everything that he is given credit for - and back in the day when I had the time and motivation - and when I surrounded myself with intelligent and thinking individuals who would actually be interested in talking about their thoughts on the subject - I actually read a lot about that suggestion. Of course, that was another lifetime ago but I wanted to acknowledge that before I moved on because it's a good argument. As far as this little entry is concerned he wrote them all, ok?On another side note, my teacher had been screwing one of my sorority sisters - but that is a discussion for another day. Just know it ended before I started class so I had to be very careful and remember to not wear letters when I was going to see him - you know, in case there were any hard feelings...So anyway - where was I? Oh, hubris. Ok, so I took that class 2nd semester freshman year (I think - my brain is not what it used to be). I didn't date much - I never had - in high school I was somewhat conservative with the level of physical intimacy I was willing to let happen so rather than have to deal with pressure to do something, I just didn't date. It was easy and didn't bother me much. That winter I had run into an old friend who I had been really close with. He and I started dating and it was nice. I wasn't ready for as much as he was, and to be honest I was getting that weird tingly-in-a-bad-way feeling in the back of my mind. As summer came things just got weirder - like he never wanted to go out where people were. It was always intimate dinners, or movies, or other one-on-one activities. Now I know that I shouldn't complain and they are nice activities to do - but I also wanted to play pool, go to parties, hang out with him and others. He wasn't into it and just got more and more possessive. I wasn't even back from school and he was already talking about what we were going to do; how we were going to see each other; when I went back. IN AUGUST.I don't know if you've picked up on it or not, but I'm so not into being possessed or controlled. Never have been. I'm just wired a little different to be so sensitive about it; I'd rather be alone then be with someone who doesn't let me be myself - however strange or sad myself may be. I broke things off with him which could be seen as either a very good, or bad, thing. Good because for about 2 months I think he stalked the house. He would leave things by or on my car - books by an author I read, or flowers, or other little things. He never left anything written but come on, who else could it be? Imagine if we would have had a more intense, intimate relationship...Bad because that set me up perfectly to enter the relationship with my X at the end of the summer. If you're really that interested I can get into it with you but I'm getting tired of droning on about that...Between the ending of one and the beginning of the other I started thinking (yes, I know, I think TOO MUCH). I often mused the idea that I suffer a hubris. That my life is a tragedy and if only I could discover my personal fatal flaw I could change the course of my existance and end the sadness.How melodramatic I know but the word/idea/concept has been entering my mind more and more lately and I am back to considering the possibility that it is an inherent truth of my life...(And no, comments aren't necessary - I just wanted share my frame of mind so you all know where I am right now in case you were wondering...)
You know what?
I think I think entirely too much. I don't know why and I have thought about that, as well. I'm sorry but I just can't seem to help it. I think it may scare people somewhat that I seem to attach meaning or to attempt to understand the motivation behind (pretty much) everything. More so everything I do, but to an extent them as well.I just can't help it. I think - again with the "I think" I know and I'm sorry, but anyway - I think that it was why I did so well in my english and literature classes - I could find symbolism in everything.It's gotten kinda bad lately and I believe it may have something to do with the lack of intelligence my job requires. My brain is looking for something, anything to do to occupy itself. There is seriously something wrong with me.Oh well, life goes on right? On another note, I have the most beautiful and fantastic room ever. My parents came over last night and helped hang things. First, my Mom and I tore the house apart and located (hooray!) my Teardrop Votive Chandelier from Illuminations!!! My Dad put a spacer between the studs in the attic and voila! I had candles!We also put up the different prints I had specifically purchased for the room and they are fantastic. The pictures are of different sailboat racing scenes and I love them. My calm blue room is now infused with fire and water and so inviting I almost can't stand it.Eventually I PROMISE to take the time to download and post pictures. I promise. For now you're just going to have to live on my colorful descriptions...TTFN
Things to do
A.K.A. Sharing my pipe dreamI know you know that I have a townhouse and you also know that I like to work on it home improvement-ly speaking. I find it fun and challenging to see what I am able to accomplish (albeit with some help from my friends and family). Lacrosse season is winding down and it looks like I am going to have some time off after work - hooray! So with that understanding, I have made a list of everything around the house that I would like to accomplish... (in no particular order, and not necessarily exclusive of any additional work, just all I could think of over lunch)I. My Room1. hang pictures/art work2. locate & hang candle holder3. install the new & already painted doorsII. Guest Room1. de-clutter!!!2. patch walls & ceiling3. paint walls, trim & ceiling4. arrange furniture5. install home gymIII. Upstairs Bathroom1. paint walls & ceiling2. install & paint trimIV. Downstairs Bathroom1. remove wallpaper2. patch & paint walls, ceiling & trim3. install & paint new (w/o a hole - so nice & non-ghetto)4. purchase & install new light fixture5. ? sand & paint under sink cabinetV. Basement1. de-clutter!!!2. organize3. deliver all of my sister & BIL's "stuff" back to them (or at least Mom's house)4. clear & organize paperwork, etc. in computer area5. replace carpet6. install some sort of key entry door (possibly french doors?)VI. Storage/Laundry room1. de-clutter!!! (are you sensing a pattern here?)2. organizeVII. Upstairs/hall area1. paint wall2. replace trim3. replace carpet (also on stairs down)VIII. Kitchen1. replace cabinets2. replace counter top3. new dish washerIX. Front yard1. power wash (? replace siding)2. paint/replace trim around front door3. paint/replace front door4. paint/replace rain gutter5. mulch gardenX. Back yard1. power wash (? replace siding)2. replace & rebuild deck out main floor3. build raised deck area out basement door4. remove/rework garden5. French Doors out main level!!!I'm sure there is more that I would like to do and some of these things were added in as I was typing the list up, but it's at least somewhere to start.(and yes, I do realize that I will probably never actually get finished... but a girl can dream, right?)
Things to remember
1. Strangers do read this from time to time2. it's ok to be excited by that, but don't let it replace contact w/ real people3. water is your friend4. if you wake up in the middle of the night, most likely you have to pee5. it's very difficult to meet "real people" if you don't go out6. if you don't like the people you're surrounded with, go or do something else7. you can never have too many sparkles8. if you've made it this far, through this much, you must be one damn strong woman9. even though comparatively what others have been through may seem like so much more than you did, that doesn't mean they don't feel the same way about you10. deep trust should be earned, not given away freely
random
Happy Mother's Day to anyone out there who is a mother! As you all know, I'm not really - but am sort of at the same time - my baby just has 4 instead of 2 legs...Having Cammi by myself I don't know if I could handle a real actual baby. I want one, I'm just not sure how long I could do it - but the thing with a real baby is that giving them back, or away to a friend, is not really an option once you've signed on for one. Who knows? Maybe when I'm older...But then of course at that point my ovaries will probably have shriveled up into little raisins whose sole purpose is to torment me with a monthly mess and the fact that I never took advantage of them while they were still fresh.Sometimes life is so not organized the way it should be.Oh, and I've been thinking a lot lately about the people I'm attracted to, and specifically what they all seem to have in common. They are all YOUNG. As in, my little sister is older then they are born in the 80's kind of young. I REMEMBER THE 80's!!!While that is and can be a lot of fun, I'm starting to think it may be symptomatic of some under lying something. What? You may ask - yeah, I'm not quite sure myself but I'm concerned that it may be some sort of fear of commitment thing. Of course, maybe not. I don't really know but the thing I don't want to do is to become obsessed with assigning a reason to it. Then I may be missing the actual issue, which would be bad, and ultimately cause me to make decisions about people and relationships that didn't need to be made all based on some fear or inadequacy within myself. Ugh!It's at this point of the story that I would peek ahead just to make sure everyone didn't die at the end...
How jealous are you?
The original plan for today was very simple:- drop Cammi off @ Mom's & have breakfast- go to work- go to the mall at lunch to pick up some baby things for my girlfriend's baby shower this weekend- go back to work- leave @ 4 & head over to the hair cuttery for a much needed trim- do 2 games @ Southern- stop by the grocery store on the way home & pick up a few things for dinner- pick up Cammi & head home to make dinner for myself & Todd & LizSee? Simple.The reality has gone somewhat different (you know what they say about best laid plans).I woke up running late so didn't have time to full-on shower. It was more of a quick rinse body, rinse hair, check status of hair on legs & pits - not too bad, long skirt & sleeves will be fine. Got to Mom's when I'm usually leaving & she's on the way out. Apparently she needed to get gas because she wouldn't have time after class before she had to go to her game. Oh, and could I stop by today & let the girls out since she wouldn't be back until 7?Ok, so breakfast in the car. No mall at lunch because I've got to go home to let the dogs out.Can't skip the mall though because the shower is tomorrow and since I'm not going I need Liz to take it tonight. So as soon as I leave work I'm there. That means that my hair cut has to wait. Because I don't already have the gift I can't wrap it at work - not good. Driving to my Mom's I have to pass the grocery store and while I wasn't planning it, I decided to go in. This saves me from having to do it later and allows a little time for gift wrapping after the games. I pulled into the parking lot, got a space and started in. Then I noticed the gigantic hot dog in the spaces near the door.Yes, you guessed it - I had happened upon the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile! I was so excited and started talking to the official "hot doggers" about it and what they're doing. There is apparently a contest to win it for a day (how cool would that be???) and they're out promoting it.I went into the store and entered on my way out. I also got to spin the prize wheel and, even though I didn't win it I had been so excited they let me anyway, I GOT MY PICTURE TAKEN WITH THE WIENERMOBILE!!! I am so framing it and putting it on my mantle!Like I said, I know. You're jealous.And the bonus, as if there could be more - I did after all get a real picture with the wienermobile - I am only going to not do one thing on my list of tasks!
Note to self
Whenever you think that something you are thinking about saying or doing may possibly be a bad idea, it is. No probably. No possibly. I don't care if you tell yourself you don't care because you can't lie to me and I know you do.Do not do it and do not argue. Do not try and justify; just stop and walk away. I'm totally serious. ...Are you even listening???
Oops, I did it again! (Sorry I just couldn't resist)
Yesterday I went out for a quick trip to the Staples for a cable I need for my new printer (hooray for the ability to print at home!) and PetSmart for chew treats for Cammi (she's completely neurotic without them). I passed the Safeway a noticed they had Gernaiums $1 each - which is a pretty good deal. Since my one weekend of planting I haven't been in the garden and it does need more flowers because it's looking a little sad now that the tulips are mostly gone and I was already there and all so I picked up a flat (10). Ran to the car to drop them off before heading into Staples. I found what I wanted and as I was checking out didn't see my keys in my purse. It was at this point my stomach sank and I knew exactly where they were, safe and sound, on the front seat of my car. Luckily my phone still had one whole bar of battery left so I quickly called Mom to come and let me in. She's not there. I called her cell. No answer. I called work to let them know that my quick trip was going to be a little longer than anticipated, then called a friend to have her look up some numbers for me. Of the three she gave one answered - no problem, he was local and on the way. I went into PetSmart and got what I needed and only had to wait 15 minutes in the parking lot before the lock man was there. I, however, did have to wait over 30 for him to get me back into my car. The other day, less than 30 seconds. Yesterday over 30 MINUTES?!?!? Sometimes longer is not better. I even told him how the last guy got in - you know, to be helpful - and I'm not sure if he was being an ass and not listening because he thought he knew better or what - which in most circumstances I'm sure he would (know better) if I hadn't just done the same thing not even two weeks prior - but it was annoying. Turns out he did get in a different way but in the process completely screwed up the weather stripping stuff on my passanger side door that took an additional 10 minutes to fix. Oh, and it took him at least 5 to get his tool out of my window... (does that sound remotely dirty or is it just me?).Oops...
Rain :(
I realize that a lot has been going on and I have been very, very bad about keeping the internet informed. I apologize and I miss you all.I have been working on a post that's going to turn out to be very long, and I'm glad I'm writing it, but I realize that I can't tell the story in one sitting but I want it to be one post. I'm concerned about this because I am not good staying with my train of thought so then I re-write a lot of what I've already written. The option would be just continue, but then I don't think what I was saying would make sense to anyone other than myself. Which in reality is probably ok (since maybe three people read this) but in case some stranger happens onto it I don't want to be dismissed outright. That's annoying in person and I'm sure just as annoying online. So I have been working and saving it as a draft and I hope to actually log this one on (unlike some others out there that are probably going to float forever unrealized in cyberspace). That being said, I do want to give you a quick run down of at least this past weekend.Friday, which feels like a llllooooonnnnnggg time ago was the fund raiser bull roast. It was fun, and part way through I decided I wasn't leaving at 9 with my Dad (the original plan) but would just deal with the lack of sleep and close the party. Turns out to have been a good plan because there were jell-o shots aplenty and every time I turned around someone was buying me a drink!Saturday was originally going to be the Faerie Festival but with Todd still being sick and 80-85% chance of severe thunderstorms (plus, Liz's dread falls weren't complete) we decided to blow it off. Sad because I have wings and a costume all un-worn but happy because I got to sleep in (yay!) and go SHOPPING!!! I picked up a few tops, a skirt and 3 pair of completely impractical shoes - it was great!Saturday night I talked my own personal white knight (you know, He Who Rescued Me From My Key Locking Self) for a while then went to the neighbors and drank some lovely red wine.Sunday I woke up nice and early and just flitted around the house a while until it was time to get ready to be picked up for brunch and a movie. Or at least that was the original plan. Turns out I was picked up around 1030 and we went to brunch - which was very nice - and we had mimosas - super yummy! Then because the weather cleared up we decided to walk around town for a while.Did I ever tell you how much I am in love with downtown? Because I am, if I hadn't. There were boats all over and he was telling me about them (boats are one of his passions and part of what he does) and it was fascinating. We walked a little while and went into one of the local bars for a drink (it was like 1230 or so). It was such a nice time just hanging out and getting to know each other we decided to skip the movie (the original plan) and go back to my place. We let Cammi out (they became fast friends which was very nice) and then while I was upstairs he opened us a bottle of wine. We sat outside on the deck with the music on, drinking wine and chatting.It was after 6 when he left and it was one of the best days I can remember.
Oh My GOD
I have no idea how long this is going to last - but damn - it is going to be FUN!!!(Yes, I am referring to the date I went on Sunday that I just realized I may not have remembered to tell you all about. I don't want to get into it online for God and Country to read - some things don't need to be shared with the world ya know and witness, I am actually capable of censoring something - just know that OH. MY. GOD. WOW! Fan-fricking-tastic)
